Man Who Wasn't There, The

As a handbag waiting list or sold film, the unavailability can make even an average man seems unavoidable. Why do we do?

Thunderbird has been something I've never believed in - until the night I met Andrew in a bar. It seemed my ideal man, 35, charismatic, brilliant, incredibly successful and so sexy that I was mentally undressing him before the second glass. Then he dropped the bomb, he was separated from three children and facing a difficult divorce.

I thought I could cope. But on our second date, when I asked for details, he dropped the two words that scare in the heart of every girl single "It's complicated. Then I began to realize that his version of "separate" means "in his head." The next 10 minutes were a blur as he gave me the monologue marriage. He was only staying for the children, he had not slept with his wife in three years, she had a boyfriend ... I told him politely that I could not handle the situation, and got into a taxi. Five minutes later, I ran towards him, my heart racing as we fell into the arms of each other.

The rational side of my brain knew that I was doing wrong, but he kept his butt kicked by my nasty part, the side that wore fishnet stockings in anticipation of our illicit meetings. The weeks that followed were a whirlwind of trips to New York, calls late at night and romantic dinners.

I quickly realized that sex with a married man is like mocking a whole box of Krispy Kremes. It was incredibly decadent and satisfying both, but left me feeling guilty, empty and a little sick afterwards.

That's when the withdrawal began. I was madly in love with the man I believe was my soul mate, but quite miserable. At least I was not alone, because every woman has at one time coveted a man who was not technically available.

Illicit Encounters

Cheating and the laws of supply and demand sexual constantly headlines that might explain why the infidelity sites seem to be multiplying faster than shows celebrity reality TV. Most of my friends are intelligent, liberated women who could take their pick of suitors, then why do many of us secretly covet men taken?

Some of my friends choose a relationship without conditions, because it gives them the freedom of hot sex, plus a boost me without obligation. The way I see it, men tied trying to recreate the first three months of love, they do more with their partners, which makes them much more focused in pursuit of you.

Even if you do not share this attitude, it is easy to succumb to herd mentality. The same logic that compels us to buy a jacket we thought was hideous until we saw Kate Moss wearing it. This could also explain why Pete Doherty now many groupies, despite looking like he has not taken a shower since 2005.

My friend, Lauren, 27, who works in publishing, is another example. She had an affair with a guy, she now admits she found through research and unexceptional - until she discovered he had a girlfriend. He said that he wanted to end things, but I was afraid of hurting her. She admits that it gives really competitive. She does not know if she was addicted to him or just interested in fighting him.

It's not just one thing or the other girl. My male friends swear to be in a relationship that makes them more attractive to women. My friend, Charlie had not had a date for so long, tumbleweeds were beginning to develop in her hair, then after he met his girlfriend, the woman began to court him. Maybe being on the arm of someone convinces fantastic women you're a good catch. Another friend of my men was wearing a wedding ring at a friend's stag party and was amazed at the amount of attention she received from women.

A relationship should not be updated for the man to be classified as "taken".