What do you think of my stories, and I am a good writer? I need to review non-friends that I am a writer or not good. My friends say I'm a great writer for my age, but I want a second opinion. Here is a snipper of one of my stories come up.
Jade sight to the target by its greyish blue optical DEEC before she made a shot. Ah. Perfect bulls-eye.
"Impressive," cried ad'ike Scorch the adjacent lane.
She smiled under his helmet. It has been six months since it was discovered, and now she and all her brothers were back on Kamino.
And now she was proud to be a member of Delta Squad. Jade trembling with impatience that Sergeant Vau would say about his training snipers. But it would only Sev. It was the sniper, fixer took the role of the slicer, Scorch entered into demo, but Jade has decided to be the field of nursing.
Boss, never the leader, told them to pack in the day. Then she took off his helmet to wipe his fringe from his face, attracting glances other riders on his way. With her hair pulled back into a ponytail and own armor color to fit his body-specific small form, it was this Kal'buir called a "spectator."
In the halls on his way to the mess, nods, she has received from his friends and a high-five-Fi. Although despised Skirata Vau and Kal was a father to her, and Omega and nulls are as much as his brothers have been Delta.
Yes it is a Star Wars fan fiction. What do you think?
PS If you want more material, click here. http://captainjade.deviantart.com/
And I am not trying adveritse, I just want some thoughts.
It is really good. I love books that the project of women or of women as warriors. Good luck!
i like it, it sounds nice and the picture I have seen before.
please reply:
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great story!
Posted on July 19, 2010.
