All The Queen's Men

I want to know if it is a good measure or am I waisting my time? Please make criticism.

Steam spiral of my nostrils as I devoured my surroundings. I was in a field of mostly dark cave filled with water fog. I undid my arms crossed and drop to my sides. The cold killed my bare skin. Thick viscous goop flowed from the ceiling on my forehead and slid on my face and torso. My legs were numb from the icy water engulfed them completely.

Slowly but surely my hair began to move, sliding over my shoulder formed in a ponytail braid. She hung up on the back of my head. The end of the braid into a serrated blade, my security mechanism. I braced myself for the unexpected.

In the distance, a dim light flickered. I could tell it was a way for me. Curiosity stifled my thoughts. I tried to lift my leg to move, but my feet were planted on the earth. I'm angry.

My hands reached for my legs. I held my breath as my head went under water.

Weeds grabbed my arm, wrapping their tendrils around my neck and down into my nose and my lip piercing. I closed my eyes and got up close with all my strength, crushing all the weed killer from their grasp. The water rushes out of my body that I rode him. Once I had my land, my violet eyes open. "The queen ... she ... she is there," I breathed, "Your Majesty".

Immediately I gave him my respects, bowing his head slightly. She smiled and raised his lantern on my face and head ****** on the side. "Such a waste of a beautiful heart, his gentle voice cooed.

I watched in horror as blood flowed from his melancholy blue eyes and the corners of his lips soft. "I could see she was suffering. The lantern fell from his hand. It suddenly struck his hands to his chest and screamed. Blood flowed beneath his fingers. Eyes closed, as his body began to crumble. I felt helpless, as his body disappeared into the depths of the water.

Slightly I felt my heart slide into the pits of my stomach and rupture. My lungs stung in acute pain as I swallowed a lot of cold air. I have not managed to keep her safe I thought with dread.

"... ... Avalin Avalin wake up", a very feminine voice called to me.

On hearing my name, I looked with my eyes to the source. I recognized the voice, but I could not put a face on it. "... Avalin Avalin," the voice sounded again.

Suddenly, a ton of pressure on my chest compressed when I was unable to breathe. My chest began to shake violently. I reduced my face and eyes. "Avalin Alarm, saith the voice, but this time it was much harder.

My breathing accelerated. I became more conscious of the environment around me. "For the love of God, Avalin, wake up," growled the blurred face me, "Ophelia fled again. The Queen has asked for you back here at once. "

I sat up suddenly and rubbed my eyes. Not yet, I thought of irritation.

With a sigh, I opened my eyes. The room was well lit. My deep blue curtains have been drawn up on either side to allow light to spy on me and my room. The wooden floor has been finely polished like a mirror reflecting the furniture. I sat in a luxury double bed, fit for a big man.

daughter of the Queen was at the foot of my bed with a satisfied look.

I massaged my sore thin legs and frowned. My fine silk night gown sparkled. "I need privacy, I claimed, pointing to the door:" Thank you ".

I really liked! Why the horse and the girl hear each other thoughts? Why the Princess fly?
I really want to read it when you're done!